Saturday, February 9, 2013

My love/hate relationship

As most of you probably already know, I'm about to finish my 14-year career in swimming.  Literally, in 2 weeks, I'll be completely done with the sport I've loved/hated for more than half my life.

I've always been competitive and I have loved being able to race.  I love being a part of a team... something bigger than myself.  I love representing the university I've cheered for my whole life.  But sometimes I wonder why I put myself through it all.  Why couldn't I be a basketball player or something?? I mean it's in my blood...

I'm not gonna lie and say that swimming was awesome and wonderful and and FUN all the time...

Because there were so many days when I wished I had the nerve to skip practice and just sleep.  
There were so many days that I trudged my sore body up to campus and ended up falling asleep in all of my classes.
There were so many times when I wanted to go do fun things with my friends, but I stayed home and went to bed instead.  
There were so many times that I scraped ice off my car at 5 a.m. in 0 degrees.
There were so many times that I legitimately got tired of eating.

Should I keep going?

There were so many times when the sun hadn't even risen by the time we were done with morning practice. 

There were so many times when I asked myself why I hadn't quit yet.
There were a few times when I worked out more hours that day than I had slept the night before.  
And there were a few practices when my goggles were filled with tears but I had to keep going (obviously swimming is soooooo dramatic).

Sound fun?

Well... it was.
In a weird, twisted way.

went back every day in the beginning because it was FUN.  Later, it became a passion-- achieving something that you've never done before is sorta gratifying isn't it? Maybe part of it was that I got super tan every summer?

But honestly, the real reason I kept swimming is because I met amazing people who came back to the pool, day after day, and pushed me harder than I ever would have pushed myself.  I learned how to work hard and I learned what it means to be dedicated. I learned how to win graciously and to be a good loser. I never wanted to be a disappointment to my coaches.  I became obsessed with my goals and had them posted all over my bedroom while growing up.  It was FUN.

Hawaii October 2012

I feel so lucky that I had the chance to be on this team.  I got to travel and see a lot of cool places and eat a lot of yummy food. Now that I'm near the end, I keep thinking about how I only have 2 weeks left to enjoy eating whatever the heck I want... And how I will have to make time to exercise (how do all you people do it???). And then it hits me that I will never be in as good of shape as I am now... and that is seriously depressing.

So here's to my last two weeks of wet hair, chlorine, and competitive swimming.



  1. I saw you just posted this on FB. Such a wonderful tribute to your amazing dedication! What a life journey swiming has been for you. Good luck these 2 weeks!

  2. Wow Taryn, I just can't believe you are that old!! Seems like yesterday you were a 1 year old "stressing out"!! lol I am so proud of you and your amazing accomplishments. And feel so lucky to have gotten to see you swim a few times! Enjoy these next two weeks...and believe it or not, now you'll be going on to even bigger and better things!! :) Love you

  3. Taryn, I don't think you'll ever know how many people you've inspired and how many lives you've changed in those 14 years, because you keep going, you smile through it, and kick butt while you're at it. Thank you for being awesome. I am so glad that you swim!! Love ya!

  4. I feel like high school swimming ended only a year or two ago! Crazy it's already been four years of BYU. I loved this post though! Swim strong! Love you!